FADE TO BLACK

How I longed to be invisible
While all could see the black dog
Dragging me down living streets
Sickness dripping from pores
Threatening to infect those
Surrounding me as they wait
To see if I’ll pull back or let go

The gaping pit in my stomach
Left unfulfilled by binges
Trying to satisfy desperation
Clothes always getting tighter
And I’m more visible than ever
Struggling to keep up the pace
The black dog dashing onwards

Doctors prescribing rainbow pills
Some bringing sleep like death
But when I try to kick the habit
I’m left bleary-eyed, zombified
Withdrawal worse than disease
How close to the edge of the cliff
Was I dragged on my worst day?

I didn’t need to fly that morning
But I’m wondering if wings
Will unfurl when I need them
To flap and chase away words
Which cut through pallid skin
“Cheer up, it could be worse,
At least you’re alive.” Barely

Then one day I’m disappearing
A snarling hound’s grip easing
Muscles moving, not groaning
I’m demanding human touch
Side-effects of drugs fading
From a chrysalis I’m emerging
The man in the mirror familiar

I sometimes see the black dog
In the corner of my eye, growling
Far enough away I don’t panic
The mocking hound of depression
Has taken it’s leave, temporarily
I have my wish, I’m all but invisible
While those who need me, see me